When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good