OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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