um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
