Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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