I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
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They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
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I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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