It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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