Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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