Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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