sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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