rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize