Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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