this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
