As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
