she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
3 2 1 whiskey
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize