Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels