do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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