Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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