So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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