I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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