Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
