i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
