I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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