i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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