Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
