remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
