Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize