the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
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If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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