Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Your an asshole

(1-954): View more from Florida

Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

(954): View more from Florida

My point exactly

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(954): Your an asshole (1-954): Actually, it's "you're an asshole" (954): My point exactly http://tfl.nu/txzi

Replies (47) Good night (3364) Bad night (601)
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(858): View more from California

I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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(858): I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association. http://tfl.nu/vbvm

Replies (15) Good night (4234) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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(937): View more from Ohio

We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture

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(937): We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture http://tfl.nu/edj0

Replies (25) Good night (596) Bad night (7498) Order T-Shirt
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(859): View more from Kentucky

So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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(859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v

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(806): View more from Texas

And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...

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(806): And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice... http://tfl.nu/3gqd

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(615): View more from Tennessee

As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.

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(615): As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge. http://tfl.nu/pca6

Replies (5) Good night (2312) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.

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(248): Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages. http://tfl.nu/po3d

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(417): View more from Missouri

I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.

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(417): I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/aq1n

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(425): View more from Washington

ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.

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(425): ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture. http://tfl.nu/ky0p

Replies (4) Good night (2056) Bad night (490)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...

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(864): Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right... http://tfl.nu/ms5r

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(906): View more from Michigan

I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.

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(906): I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/v9bt

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.

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(865): Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts. http://tfl.nu/is6y

Replies (7) Good night (1343) Bad night (618)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.

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(+44): He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits. http://tfl.nu/wm8o

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces

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(+44): Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces http://tfl.nu/5di3

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(504): View more from Louisiana

If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!

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(504): If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!! http://tfl.nu/gw9p

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