Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.

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  (502): We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married. http://tfl.nu/ivvd
  Replies (1) Good night (1790) Bad night (589)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  he shaved USA in his pubs

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  (806): he shaved USA in his pubs http://tfl.nu/vbz3
  Replies (20) Good night (1885) Bad night (3154)
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  (718): View more from New York

  You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.

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  (718): You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants. http://tfl.nu/n5jd
  Replies (11) Good night (2257) Bad night (876)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He had one of those small greek statue penises

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  (813): He had one of those small greek statue penises http://tfl.nu/uvv6
  Replies (33) Good night (892) Bad night (5511)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring

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  (845): I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring http://tfl.nu/cvji
  Replies (16) Good night (833) Bad night (4950)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss

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  (661): My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss http://tfl.nu/25zw
  Replies (41) Good night (6864) Bad night (1007)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

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  (585): I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine http://tfl.nu/d7kh
  Replies (12) Good night (1022) Bad night (6516)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?

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  (701): you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends? http://tfl.nu/lhmx
  Replies (8) Good night (3212) Bad night (1402)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos

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  (516): I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos http://tfl.nu/9ruo
  Replies (9) Good night (2775) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.

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  (360): just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe. http://tfl.nu/xu32
  Replies (6) Good night (2441) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?

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  (248): Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door? http://tfl.nu/ayiv
  Replies (4) Good night (1068) Bad night (1736)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job

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  (805): Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job http://tfl.nu/ohjc
  Replies (16) Good night (1101) Bad night (542)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My day in three words: secret purse cake

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  (847): My day in three words: secret purse cake http://tfl.nu/hvdp
  Replies (0) Good night (624) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.

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  (586): I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down. http://tfl.nu/ak0v
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.

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  (203): I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this. http://tfl.nu/ar8l
  Replies (2) Good night (230) Bad night (401)

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