Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering