I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets