Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.

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(704): Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker. http://tfl.nu/w3ss

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(319): View more from Iowa

He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

(648): View more from

Since when is drunk an angle?

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(319): He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle (648): Since when is drunk an angle? http://tfl.nu/dhcr

Replies (12) Good night (7297) Bad night (969)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.

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(248): Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated. http://tfl.nu/1crf

Replies (21) Good night (2156) Bad night (3037)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.

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(778): We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay. http://tfl.nu/xs17

Replies (16) Good night (1628) Bad night (2954)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.

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(479): You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it. http://tfl.nu/l6w1

Replies (2) Good night (2296) Bad night (803)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

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(330): Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/jkmt

Replies (2) Good night (2370) Bad night (911)
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(909): View more from California

What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for

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(909): What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for http://tfl.nu/e5by

Replies (18) Good night (1722) Bad night (751)
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(209): View more from California

Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.

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(209): Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir. http://tfl.nu/1rs6

Replies (21) Good night (1778) Bad night (1182)
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(892): View more from

YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!

(314): View more from Missouri

Only one tier

(314): View more from Missouri

Tastes like cardboard anyway

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(892): YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?! (314): Only one tier (314): Tastes like cardboard anyway http://tfl.nu/1yl0

Replies (1) Good night (1402) Bad night (1457)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.

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(765): Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater. http://tfl.nu/rsqd

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(517): View more from Michigan

it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles

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(517): it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles http://tfl.nu/d9s3

Replies (10) Good night (1891) Bad night (572)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.

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(970): I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/dlw8

Replies (5) Good night (2456) Bad night (512)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant

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(270): Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant http://tfl.nu/aglv

Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (411)
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(440): View more from Ohio

all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.

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(440): all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers. http://tfl.nu/lyvi

Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (290)
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(765): View more from Indiana

If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely

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(765): If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely http://tfl.nu/z7eh

Replies (3) Good night (844) Bad night (182)

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