I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
