fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
