It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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