guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
