Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize