Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize