It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
