I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize