i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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