Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her