we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.