dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like