College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
