one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
