We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
