member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
