every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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