Where is the hickey?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.