Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃