They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
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And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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