You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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