Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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