so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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