I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
