in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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