She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize