Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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