A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
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I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My ATM looks so different sober.
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hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.