$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.