Dignity is for republicans.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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