The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
